Full transparency, this may piss people off. But it’s on my heart.
I have a guy that I am mentoring that got two DUIs this week. I met him a while back when he came to us looking for a place to live and we obviously took a chance. (I always think it’s funny that I have to say “we took a chance” on someone. I guess I say that so people and neighbors who don’t normally help or take chances on people understand what I mean)
I went and visited him at the jail along with another F5 Project staff the other night. When the man walked in, you could visibly see his brokenness. Humiliation, guilt, shame, remorse and tons of fear. He was so confused as to how he ended up there again when things were going so good. How is it possible to relapse when you see nothing but awesome and good around you? How is it so possible to drink when you feel like you are on the right path? Does God hate me? Am I abandoned to this life forever? These thoughts over and over while isolated to a cell by yourself.
Guy: I’m sorry, Adam.
Me: You don’t need to apologize man. I’ve done this a 100 times.
It was at this moment that he looked up. He had been shamed from every single person that he came in contact with, like he was a virus.
Me: what’s your plan? How can I help you best? I want to help.
I’ve heard “why do you want to help me more then any other question since I start F5. We get to a life where everyone has motives. Everyone has their own agendas. To the point that no one care about the person in front of them. They are just a number or an outcome for their data sheets.
Because, I remember when I was sitting there and no one came to see me. I went to court by myself, I got out and had no where to go. I’m doing this so you don’t have to go through what I did.
Him: can I move back in?
Me: you don’t wrong me dude. I’d be happy to let you back in after you are all done with jail. I’ll send one of the staff to court with you too. They can let the judge know. But just be ready, the judge has a job to do, so no matter what happens, we will be here for you.
Him: *tears up*
Me: there is nothing you are about to encounter that you and I can’t handle. I got you. There is only way to overcome all of this and it starts with your heart and a chisel. I think we need to chisel the word grace on your heart. It’s the only way to start the process of getting rid of all the stuff that gets in our way of change. We don’t need to chisel guilt, shame on our hearts. The world will do that enough for us.
I don’t care what people do. Deep down to our cores, we are all the same. He’s my neighbor, and for that, I am called.
I am super proud of the staff of F5 and doing this kind of work all of the state of North Dakota.